Saturday, February 27, 2010

Stalin Went in to Coma : అంటే/Means?

"The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."

March 4th 1953 Time 10PM Chennai India

When the world kisses goodnight to their kids is when the news dailies turn on their lights."Bharat News" is one such upcoming english daily.The composers are busy composing the headlines.The chief editors reviewing the content on the local edition ,the columnist with the sports page and the cartoonist drawing Nehrujis caricature.

Standing at one corner as tall as the machines ,wearing thick glasses and reading the paper keeping it close to his face is "The Boss" who is known for his bad temper.Standing next to him with a intimidated expression on his face is one of the chief editors.

The Boss:

How in the world can we compete with "The Hindu"  if you keep making such silly mistakes?

I have asked you to print...

Buffalo is their new party symbol and what did you print?

Buffalo is their new party Member..

If you repeat this again you will be a part of the next day headlines.Now get lost.

Its hard to find someone who is good in english in this independent India.

1 A.M March 5th The Boss Chamber

Picking the papers lying on the fax machine The Boss starts reading them aloud...

"Stalins condition is deteriorating "

As all the chief editors have already left he calls Jagadeesh and Srinivas  - Who finished their degree recently from a telugu medium college and joined as sub editors few months back and have just got started with their english lessons.

The Boss: Now listen carefully.Stalin the Russian leader is in a serious condition.Here is his life story.Print this on the main page only if you receive a fax about his death.Saying this with out giving the scared cats a chance to speak The Boss walks away like a bull dog.

2 AM Nothing on the fax machine...

3 AM Jagadeesh gets a coffee for Srini and himself..

3 30 AM Jaggu falls asleep along with the fax machine...

4 AM Srini wakes up Jaggu saying Stalin Stalin!!

"Stalin went in to Coma"

Both of them look at each other - "Coma Means"?

Jaggu: Shall we go ask "The Boss"

Srini: I would rather prefer a new job...

Jagadeesh after a few minutes of serious thought,I got it ..Stalin is dead!!

Srini: How can you say that?

When someone is dead what do we print in telugu "So and So went to heaven  or Swargatulayyaru(స్వర్గస్తులయ్యారు)

"So Stalin went in to coma means Stalin went to heaven"

So Coma means Heaven!!

Srini:Jaggu you are a genius...

The prints get dispatched to every door at 5 AM.As a part of his daily routine the chief minister gets a briefing form various news papers every morning.Astonished to see "Bharat News" being a small daily to be the only one printing Stalins Death News  the CM office calls/wakes up "The Boss" telling him that they have done a great job.

Surprised the boss walks out of his cabin...

Srini(Proudly) :We dint sleep till 5 O Clock till the prints got dispatched.

"Stalin went in to Coma" and we got everything done by 5.

The Boss collapses on the Ground saying..

What have you done...What haaave you done...?

Rushing back to his office he calls the reporter covering Stalins news.After a few minutes in shock he walks out saying , i do not know whether to promote you or fire you.Stalin died at 5AM and our news paper was at everyones door steps by 5:15...

A million copies of the Bharat News Get sold that morning before the competitors could even compose the news to come up with their evening editions.